Body and blood 

Photographs and project by Madison Benson

“My honors photography capstone explores my relationship with life by reimagining my feelings and experiences through the lens of my Catholic school experience as someone who does not believe in any religion. I aim to examine the effect that forced religion had on every aspect of my life, and reflect on how that experience permanently changed how I see myself, others, and the world around me.

I attended Catholic school for 7 years, Kindergarten through 6th grade, before attending a public middle and high school. Even when I was in Catholic school, I never believed in god or a higher being, and I still subscribe to the belief that there is no “real” religion or higher power today. However, going to Catholic school during such formative years of my life still impacted me in unimaginable ways. In Catholic school, you are extremely sheltered and are not taught important aspects of life. Obviously, this religion is pushed onto you, with little to no tolerance for any other religions or ways of life. This project is my way of processing the negative impact religion and Catholic school had on me by taking the visual language of faith that I’ve internalized and using it to create something beautiful, even sacred.

I’m photographing models draped in white cloth to make them resemble ancient marble sculptures, like you may see of the Virgin Mary. I’m doing all my shooting during either sunrise or sunset in order to get my figures backlit by the sun to mimic a halo. I want everything to be very natural and serene, and have chosen to edit out all roads and other man made structures that may have been in these images. I don’t want to incorporate any direct religious imagery, like a rosary, cross, dove, or halo, because I don’t want these to be “religious” photographs. This is why I’m using the backlit sun to mimic a halo instead of using or editing in a circular halo. These images are a way for me to process and reconcile my experiences, and hopefully connect with others who have similar feelings. 

The only faces that you can directly see are women’s. Instead of doing a series of self portraits, I wanted to use different women for each shoot to reflect myself. If there is a man in the image, he is never meant to be the main subject, and his face is not directly shown. He would only be there to get a point across that could not be done with just women.

There is a selection of music that accompanies this work. Each song represents an event or feeling that I’m using this project to work through. 

Some of these images are meant to critique the misuse of religion. One of my photos, titled “thoughts & prayers” depicts a mass shooting. As someone who grew up in Sandy Hook, CT, gun control is something I’m very passionate about. The government refuses to do anything about mass shootings in our country, and all they want to do is send thoughts and prayers. Thoughts and prayers do not stop death due to gun violence.” -Madison Benson